Spare the Rod...?

I have been reading several books about discipline and raising children. It seems that I have run out of ideas and I needed a refresher. I have described myself lately as having an anger problem, and this has to do specifically with my children! I have done some serious soul searching/praying and I think it is working. And reading these books has been kind of encouraging, because I have discovered that we have not been doing such a bad job after all. Many of the examples of common mistakes, or bad practices, are things that we avoided from the beginning. And some of the tips, we are currently using correctly. But there were plenty of things I needed to learn or remember. Here are a few points from the books I have been reading:

1. 1)Spare the rod, spoil the child? He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him Proverbs 13:24 “The Jews believed in discipline, true, but when biblical writers used the word rod they were thinking more of correction and guidance rather than hitting and beating. For example, the shepherd used his rod not to beat his sheep but to guide them. We are all well acquainted with that phrase from the 23rd Psalm thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” --Leman
   

2. 2)Parent Temper Tantrum? “Actually ninety-nine percent of the time that parents scream, hit and spank their children, the parent is simply having a temper tantrum. The tantrum is a sign that 1)the parent doesn’t know what to do, 2) the parent is so frustrated that he or she can’t see straight, and 3) this adult has an anger management problem.” --Phelan
   

3. 3) Parent’s Prayer “Lord you know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I’m doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You.” --Dobson
   

The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson

1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan

Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Kevin Leman

Old Friends

In January, Shelly was in town visiting her family. It was great getting together with old friends. Sara came down from Edmond and joined us as a surprise for Shelly. Our kids played together and it was a wonderful experience. Who would have thought ten years ago when we were roommates that our children would play together. We were missing one of our roommates, Sonia, who lives out in California. Someday we hope to all be together.

Fascinated

Ok, so we have sick kiddos again! I don’t know what is up this year with all the sicknesses. Bo has ear infections, but thank the Lord his parasites are finally gone! Jachin woke up Sunday night with a fever again. He had a high fever for three days just a week and a half ago. He has been home from school Monday and Tues, and he will be here again tomorrow. Kimberlyn is as healthy as ever. She must have an immune system of steel. But the thing that stuck me in the midst of all this, is that I love my kids. They are so different, yet that is what makes it exciting. Today was the perfect example:

Jachin: He was sick with a high fever, and yet here are a few of the things I heard from him

“What do you like doing most? I like praising God. Next I like snuggling with you Mom.” “You are the best Mom I know.”

Then he proceeded to check the dog’s water and food, which is his new chore.

Kimberlyn: In the 3 hours of preschool today she managed to be picked for the weather report due to good behavior, and then she had to sit on the bench for running and screaming. How is that possible? But that describes her very well. When she is good she is very very good, and when she is bad she is awful.

Bo: Being a two year old he is naturally bipolar. Today he was mischievous, whiny, and extremely happy. I especially liked it today when he came up to us and started talking gibberish and using his hands like we do in conversation. Then when he got to his “punchline” he started cracking up. It just made me smile to think that two months ago he was nonexpressive at the orphanage. He has come a long way.

Tag your it!

We had so much fun last night playing Nerf Tag. Jachin was given a gift card to Walmart from his Mimi and Pa. We left yesterday to go pick out the perfect toy. Well, after looking over the entire toy and electronic sections, the final decision was for Nerf Tag. Jachin was so excited to play this with his Daddy. So the evening consisted of Jachin and Andy running around the house like mad men. I think Andy had as much fun as Jachin. Kimberlyn took a turn, but she didn’t want to be shot. She liked wearing the gear though. Bo also loved the activity in the house. He ran around laughing and picking up all the stray bullets. He was Andy’s little helper. He would retrieve the bullets and run them to his hideout. The guns only hold 6 bullets at a time, so you can imagine how quickly they need to reload. Thank you Mimi and Pa!

Sickness and Scooters

So the norm around here lately has been one sickness after another. We have had parasites, ear infections, never ending runny noses, coughs, colds, fevers, immunizations, and now the stomach virus! I am tired of doing laundry, remembering to give antibiotics twice a day, and staying in the house. The weather has been too cold to even allow the well child to go outside and play. This cold weather is probably the reason for all the sicknesses anyway. We were able to go outside yesterday for a little while and play on the new scooters and tricycle. Bo doesn’t know what to think of the tricycle and would rather push it around. He also didn’t like walking on the grass at first. He can’t figure out why we yell every time he goes into the street. I am sure it is very confusing. But the time outside playing with Daddy was something everyone needed!

Our Children's Personalities

It is always so fun to see how your children, although raised in the same home, have completely different outlooks on life. Here are a few examples:

Story #1

Jachin and Kimberlyn were with my parents while we were in Haiti picking up Bo. Kimberlyn was in a bad mood and Papa was trying to handle the situation. So he said the infamous words, Happiness is a choice. Well, Jachin responded that Jesus wants us to be happy. Then Papa said, “I choose to be happy.” Jachin said, “I choose to be happy.” Kimberlyn said, “I choose to be sad.” My dad was baffled. Then Jachin responded, “Well, then your going to Hell.”

Conclusion: Jachin is black and white. Kimberlyn is not affected by guilt.

Story #2

Bo is 2 years old. He has proved that many times the last 3 weeks. He has also become more comfortable with us. Well the typical situation has happened many times where we say No, Bo smiles, and he does it again. But the interesting thing is that you can change his mood with a simple tool.....a ball! If he is crying and in a bad mood, you can simply bring out a ball and he suddenly cheers up. I hope this continues his whole life!

Conclusion: Boys are easily distracted.

More stories to come I am sure!

Our adoption journey is complete!

I am so thankful that Bo is finally home! We have kept a detailed account of our adoption process on our adoption journal www.youbelong.net/mcdonald. Now I will have only one website to keep up with, which means I may start blogging more on here. I have enjoyed keeping a record of our lives and it has allowed me to express many feelings this past year. I just wanted to thank everyone of our friends and family for praying for us throughout this whole ordeal. We have a video for our friends that still have children waiting for them at GLA that is very touching. We also have a photo album of our trip. Enjoy!